Why Some People Only Love You When It’s Beneficial to Them

[analyst75]

Have you ever noticed that some people only show up in your life when they need something?

 

They call it love.

They call it friendship.

But what they truly value… is utility.

 

This kind of “conditional love” isn’t love at all — it’s transactional attachment. And the worst part? It often masquerades as genuine care, making it hard to detect until you’re already emotionally invested.

 

What Does It Really Mean?

 

When someone only "loves" you when it's beneficial, it means:

 

They are warm when they need your help.

They are supportive when they can gain something from your success.

They act close when they are lonely, broke, or broken — but disappear once they’re healed or fulfilled.

In essence, you’re not loved… you’re used. And once your usefulness fades, so does their affection.

 

Why Do People Do This?

 

Emotional Opportunism:

Some people treat relationships like business deals. If there’s no ROI, they walk away.

Narcissistic Tendencies:

Narcissists often mimic love to control or benefit from others. They love-bomb, exploit, then vanish.

Lack of Emotional Maturity:

Some genuinely don’t understand what real connection means. They confuse convenience with care.

Desperation Disguised as Affection:

When someone is in need, they might latch onto whoever’s available — not because they love you, but because you’re a temporary solution.

How to Recognize the Pattern

 

They only text or call when they need something.

They disappear when you’re struggling.

They avoid emotional depth or commitment.

Your relationship feels one-sided.

You feel drained instead of uplifted after interactions.

The Hard Truth You Need to Accept

 

Not everyone who says "I love you" means it.

Not everyone who is close to you is truly with you.

 

Some people are emotionally parasitic — feeding off your time, energy, kindness, and presence, only to leave when you have nothing left to give.

 

What Should You Do?

 

Set Boundaries:

Love should never feel like a debt. Learn to say no without guilt.

Observe Actions, Not Words:

Words can lie. Behavior reveals truth. Look for consistency.

Detach Emotionally from Patterns of Use:

If someone repeatedly disappears after getting what they want, don’t chase. Let them go.

Value Yourself Enough to Walk Away:

You are not a tool. You are not a safety net. You are a human being worthy of real love and connection.

Final Thoughts

 

Some people will only “love” you when it suits them. But your worth is not defined by their convenience.

 

Protect your energy.

Guard your heart.

And most importantly — stop watering dead plants.

 

You deserve reciprocal love, not conditional loyalty.
 

By Charles Awuzie

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